no matter how much time is passed there are certain people how have a magical way of getting under your skin without even trying. just reading his words gives me a knot in my stomach and for no real reason, he doesn't even know i can see his words. he probably can't even remember my name. but the ability to still give me an uneasy feeling is remarkable. is it better to have a life full of those who leave such lasting impressions, who can still move you after years of not speaking? or is it easier to just forget and move on. I know that i have never been one that easily let go of a relationship, it always makes me so sad to lose a friend and as we get older it happens more and more for whatever reasons. whether it be becuase we grow in different directions or we hit an impasse which leaves has no solution but to dissolve the friendship.
i began this about someone completely different but it got me to think about miss jp and the dissolution of our friendship. In so many ways does it break my heart to lose such a dear friend. However, there is only so many breakdowns a friendship can withstand until it comes to be too much of a heartache. I will always care about her but will have to wish her well from afar becuase I am sticking to me choice to let this space remain.
just thinking about these two people and how much they bother affected my life is incredible and torments me to think that I don't speak to either of them anymore, even know i know it is for the best. it all goes back to my original thought and how it is so difficult for me to break from a friendship even though it for the best. We let people get so close to us and then when its time to say goodbye it is unbearable. i suppose it is just part of transitioning but it makes me sad nonetheless.
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